A Practical List of Happiness

I just finished reading"The Art of Happiness" by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, a psychiatrist and leading expert on the science of human happiness. I'm currently halfway through "The Book of Joy," also authored by the Dalai Lama, along with Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

These books delve profoundly into the understanding of happiness, drawing from Dalai Lama's personal experience of exile and Archbishop Tutu's fight against segregation in South Africa, while also incorporating a wealth of scientific insights into happiness.

The wisdom contained within these books is impossible to summarize. Instead, I’ll attempt to distill the essence into a to-do list for myself and anyone interested in following these teachings:

1. The purpose of life should be to seek happiness and reduce suffering.
2. The first step is to learn how negative emotions lead to suffering. Awareness of these emotions is essential before making changes. Anger and hatred have an immediate effect on us (even on our appearance), overwhelming our peace of mind.
3. Happiness is different from pleasure. While indulging in a lot of ice cream may bring pleasure, it doesn't necessarily lead to happiness.
4. Cultivate compassion, warmth, and a kind heart.
5. Recognize that we human are not that different.
6. Shift the focus away from oneself. We are not the center of the universe. We are not even that special. Indeed, there are evidence that those who are self-centered are more prone to physical illness. By concentrating on alleviating others' suffering, we immediately feel better.
7. Avoid assigning blame to others and adopting a victim mentality. Take responsibility for our own problems and believe in the possibility of overcoming suffering.
8. Over-sensitivity, overreacting to minor issues, and taking trivial matters too seriously are common sources of self-inflicted suffering.
9. Cultivate flexibility and adaptability in life to maintain composure amidst restless and turbulent situations.
10. Seek meaning in life's hardships. "Man is ready and willing to endure any suffering as long as he can find meaning in it." Suffering facilitates personal growth and illuminates happiness. Those who haven't experienced suffering remain like children.
11. When worry arises, focus on finding a solution. If no solution exists, postpone worry and understand its futility. Furthermore, if altruism drives your actions, fearlessness grows stronger.
12. Embrace humility. Arrogance and an exaggerated belief in one's abilities and accomplishments lead to frustration, disappointment, and anger when reality contradicts our ideal versions of ourselves.
13. Accept that none of the above is easy. Similar to physical growth, training the mind is necessary to achieve these principles.

Going through the above, I could not help but realize too often I put myself into unhappy situations.

This is a list to go through from time to time to remind myself - ultimately, we all want to be happy, so stop create our own suffering!