Do You Ever Change?

My friend and I were dining in a small, family-run Japanese restaurant.

We talked about our plans for 2025 and beyond, our jobs, and our views on various things, from marriage to emigration - you know, things you talk about with people you genuinely like and can have conversations about other than the latest Netflix shows.

"Wow, you have changed a lot over these few years!" my friend said after listening to me mumbling for a while.

I paused and thought. I have indeed changed my views on a few things.

I once believed that achieving financial freedom as soon as possible was the single most important goal. Accordingly, I settled for the job that paid me the most and lived as frugally as possible. Now, I have a better relationship with money and am trying to enjoy the process of finding something I enjoy doing.

I imagined a life of comfort was the answer to life. Now, I'm seeking a life with good challenges.

I thought marriage was stupid, and the last thing I wanted was to invite the government and laws to interfere with my relationship. I did exactly that a year ago.

I used logic and pros and cons lists to make decisions. Now, I rely on my intuition to make the most critical decisions.

I hated uncertainties. While I'm still more rigid than I'd like to admit now, I'm trying to embrace randomness and am generally excited to see where these unexpected events will lead me.

I thought I wouldn't change.

If you were like me, you were basically a piece of potato until you reached your twenties.

In your twenties, you start to form your ideas, beliefs, and values.

Say you are lucky enough to live till your 80s.

Do we want to stick to the same set of ideas for 60 years?

How will that serve you in a world constantly changing at an ever-increasing speed?

We are living in a world that offers limitless opportunities. (I suddenly came to an important realization one day in my morning coffee session - I will never be able to finish reading all the books worth reading, nor travel to all the places worth experiencing. So it's not a cliche to say that the world is limitless to a mortal.)

Therefore, I want to be flexible and adaptive, as this is the only way to enjoy and experience life as fully as possible.

To do so, I live by the fundamental principles of Read, Live, Question.

Read. Reading is the best investment of time. There are books on literally everything - concentration camp survivors' memorials, options traders writing about Black Swan, travel stories about places where you have not heard about, economists and psychologists sharing their lifetime findings, and so many more. You could experience the lives of all these amazing people and learn about their experiences, great or awful, in your Kindle at your favorite cafe. It's impossible to keep a stagnant mind if you read actively.

Live. It is difficult to tell a law school student that money, fame, and prestige are not the most important things in the world and that the first job does not matter. (Someone actually told me this before I graduated. Of course, this advice went in one ear and out the other).

The idea could hit only if the student herself endures the crushing hours at a corporate law firm, horrible bosses, and life-sucking boredom to rethink what's best for her.

It's the same for all ideas. As the saying goes, you can't teach a child not to touch the hot stove, but you don't have to say that twice. Test your ideas in the real world. Experience new things. Develop routines and break them.

You will turn into a better person with a more sophisticated life.

Question. Asking the essential and critical questions is way more important than arriving at the answers.

How am I feeling?

Where am I at the moment? How did I get here? Where do I want to go? (literally and figuratively)

Why am I still doing this?

What are the goals that bring me real happiness? Am I spending my time wisely?

Am I being kind and generous enough?

Am I setting the right priorities?

These are all questions that I ask myself regularly to avoid the tyranny of our genes and society—the two forces that try to govern us and, sadly, do not always have our best interests in mind. Our genes merely want us to survive and reproduce, making worrying and indulging the perfect traits. Society (or the government) wants stability and taxes, so it would be best for its citizens to follow the most regular path, work 8 hours a day, consume and borrow money as much as possible, and pay taxes and mortgages.

If we do not question ourselves and the norms society imposes on us, we will be mindlessly grinding through our days instead of living purposefully - and life is just too short for that.

Maybe in a few years, I will have changed and will call this article bullshit. I look forward to that happening.